ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
