i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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