He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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