is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
