My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
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I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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