Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
