Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You're earring is so big in my mouth
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
