Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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