Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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