do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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