Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize