Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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