Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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