so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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