Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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