Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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