We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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