try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
