$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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