you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
