First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
