i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
