Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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