Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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