If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
