Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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