She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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