Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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