you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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