he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
