what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize