I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
