what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
