maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
