Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize