Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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