On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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