I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
