someone owes me an orgasm
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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