Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
