You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
