Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
