OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
