who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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