I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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