I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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