I want to make a zoo with you.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
