i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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