There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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