...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
