I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
smell my finger.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
