someone owes me an orgasm
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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