did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
