When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
