who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
