Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize