a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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