just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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