loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
