On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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